A Song for Persephone

Homer got it wrong, blind old fool

There wasn't just one horrible moment, when the earth opened

and Hades took you down

It wasn't just that he and your father bargained and you were the exchange

It was a long time coming, that day

You were gone long before you left

There was a spell, an incantation, that came to you in quiet moments

that came to you from beneath the earth

that came to you as you roamed

You turned pale and your eyes lost their sparkle

You were searching for the source of that song

That song, which promised to take away your doubt and your fear

That song, which promised you could be someone new, if only you would go down,

down, who knew where?

You didn't seem to care anymore, you forgot everything but that song

But I remember

I remember that cursed song, and how it stole you

I remember who you were before that man took you away

I remember before you thought you could change your being

I remember what your name was before you just about succeeded

I remember your dreams and your bright eyes

I remember your laugh and your passion

Before the promise of that song weighed down your soul & slumped your shoulders

Before that man beat you with the guilt stick

Before you realized your body was dirty

Before you decided to become clean and pure

Before you began this quest to kill your self with a thousand tiny cuts & a thousand tiny sacrifices, which are calculated and remembered, which eat out your soul like a cancer

I remember, and I remember, and I remember

I remember that beautiful girl with eyes like the ocean & the sky

those eyes that saw such small & lovely things

And I wonder if she can ever come back to the land of the living

if she'll ever feel the sun on her skin or the breeze thru her hair or the waves on her body

Is she so well insulated by her fearful pieties that she'll never break free

never dance or laugh with reckless abandon again?

I don't pretend that you were another me or that we never fought or hurt one another badly

but I knew who you were in those days and I loved you

and we were each the other's complement & opposite 

and we were alive and there was blood in our veins and fire in our hearts

and now?

what now?

How many sly compromises and shy denunciations

how many slights and misunderstandings are treasured

will we ever speak the same language again?

I remember you

and I am doomed

I remember you

with pain

I remember you &

hope

I remember you but turn away from what was

betray that memory in my anger

only to remember again

come back to the land of the living, Persephone