A Visit to the Fourth Circle of Hell, or Chuck E. Cheese Puts the 'Fun' Back in School Fundraising!!

A Chuck E. Cheese "crew member" comes crackling over the loudspeaker to announce to the room of wired children and their beleaguered parents, "Will guest number 74 please report to the beverage station? Your hot, delicious order is ready. Once again, will guest number 74 please report to the beverage station? Your hot, delicious order is ready. Thank you, and have a magical evening."

Y and I looked at each other and at the marginally edible pizza in front of us and wondered if we had missed the hot and delicious moment. Of course, it's terrible marketing to request that someone appear to retrieve their order because it's as good as it's going to get and if you don't get a move on, it'll go soggy.

Said "crew member" was later observed at the beverage bar, filling a cup with Coke and muttering, "I'm going to pretend it's vodka."

Yes, exactly.

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