Tending Your Feelings
I wrote awhile ago about how to help an angry child, and at the end, I tossed off a couple of sentences about taking care of yourself and tending your feelings. But I didn't explain. So here's what I meant. The thing about dealing with our own kids is that very often the kid still inside us sort of wakes up and watches what is going on. And then old feelings get raked up. If you were the tantruming child, how were you treated? Did anybody try to understand why you were upset? Or were you treated as a problem? Maybe your feelings themselves were the problem. While you're trying to help your child, your inner child is reacting as well. If you possibly can, try to stay calm with your child and allow your own feelings to come out later. Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you don't have the capacity to stay calm. Apologize if you overreact. Repair. Don't deny but don't get stuck, either. When you have a moment to yourself--and for goodness' sake, put on a vi...